James Thurber

"I loathe the expression "What makes him tick." It is the American mind, looking for simple and singular solution, that uses the foolish expression. A person not only ticks, he also chimes and strikes the hour, falls and breaks and has to be put together again, and sometimes stops like an electric clock in a thunderstorm."

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Video: it's cheese rolling time again!

An army veteran from Colorado takes the top prize in the main event at the annual downhill cheese-rolling races in the rural English county of Gloucestershire. Tara Cleary reports.

TRANSCRIPT
REPORTER: Plunging down a steep hill at breakneck speed, chasing a fake foam cheese. The centuries-old race is dangerous. This year one contestant reportedly broke a leg. Big cheese for the day was U.S. army veteran, Kenny Rackers, who arrived three days early to practice.
KENNY RACKERS: "I came over three or four thousand miles just for this race. I put it on my bucket list and today it was to win and that's what I did."
REPORTER: Rackers, who first saw the cheese-rolling race on TV, paid tribute to fellow soldiers on America's Memorial Day.
KENNY RACKERS: "We're remembering all the soldiers that gave the ultimate sacrifice so I want to thank all the soldiers past and present for their service."
REPORTER: And the runner-up didn't seem too cheesed-off about losing.

 

WORDPLAY
1. If you describe something as cheesy, you mean that it is not very good or original, and without style, in a way that is embarrassing but amusing. • That's the cheesiest chat-up line I've ever heard.
2. A big cheese is an important and powerful person, especially in an organization.
3. If someone is cheesed off, they are annoyed or bored. • He's cheesed off with his job.

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Jeff Foxworthy

"The problem with the designated driver program, it's not a desirable job, but if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house."

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Mark Twain

"Never learn to do anything: if you don't learn, you'll always find someone else to do it for you."

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Mitch Hedberg

"I wanna hang a map of the world in my house. Then I'm gonna put pins into all the locations that I've traveled to. But first, I'm gonna have to travel to the top two corners of the map so it won't fall down."

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Bertrand Russell

"The main things which seem to me important on their own account, and not merely as means to other things, are knowledge, art, instinctive happiness, and relations of friendship or affection."

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Chuck Lorre, Steven Molaro and Eric Kaplan

"Ah! Memory impairment: the free prize at the bottom of every vodka bottle!"

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John Ruskin

"When a man is wrapped up in himself, he makes a pretty small package."

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